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Originally Posted by Glice
Because it very much strikes me that the reason Jenn is a good writer isn't because she's naturally talented or any of that guff, but because she's thought about, and worked upon, how she wants to say things, not just what she wants to say.
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Oh yeah, I've been very trying to work on my writing style. Not so much on particulars like hyphens and parentheses but with balancing imagery in a way that isn't too contrived but still interesting. For example, here's the beginning of a short story I've just began:
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Anthony Briar closed his soaking umbrella in the lobby of his apartment building with the procedure of a submariner. After an hour of dense traffic, heavy rain, and dark news radio, decompression naturally set in as Anthony paused to check the mail. Nothing, but Anthony appreciated the moment all the same.
Making his when into his apartment, Anthony remembered that it was Thursday. Sandra, his girlfriend, told him that she would be out for the evening to meet a friend who had flown into town. With this realization, the cabin pressure around his head and torso had returned to a pleasant equilibrium. Not only was Anthony now free to eat and write at his leisure but the hovering threat of meeting another one of Sandra's friends had passed. It wasn't so much that Anthony hated Sandra's friends as much as the fact that talking to them always reminded him of standing on a balcony, looking inside through the sliding glass at a conversation he couldn't hear. Just the thought of it made him want a cigarette. However, the sudden ache of his stomach blew his capricious thoughts to more edible fare.
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Nothing to write home about but it's pretty obvious what I am trying to practice on. I have no nature talent for writing, of course, but it's fun to try to develop.