[gmku]

I am not a crook!

However, I went through a rather daring patch in college that I'm not particularly proud of when I thought nothing of five-finger discounts from the department store where I worked. I worked in the men's department and as a stock boy. I'd cop shirts, jackets, cologne, sweaters, ties. Even took a pair of koss headphones from the stereo dept once. Easy as shit. Usually just walked out with them the nights I worked stock because it was my job to sweep up and so I was the last one left in the place. No guards, no cameras. Even though I wore the clothes to work, nobody was ever the wiser.

The day I stopped was the day the men's manager looked long and hard at the shirt I was wearing and said, "I don't remember you getting that. When'd you get that?" I just said, "Last Saturday. You were here. Don't you remember?"

That might have been it for me except that a few days later the guy was fired for poor "inventory control."

But that was my sign to stop. That shook me up enough that I never stole there or anywhere else since.