Quote:
|
Originally Posted by floatingslowly
to keep shopping fresh, I categorize other shopper's demographics.
typical of my time slot: Old Black Married Couples, Hot Girls in Short-shorts and Mexican Aisle Blockers (my bane). on the rare occasion when I go on saturday, the demographic always includes Lesbian Partners and White Trash Moms with Seven Kids in Tow. two weeks ago, I made a new and exciting find: Inter-racial Midget Couple (mind blowing...I'm telling you).
|
I shop like a man - I go in, I walk in a specific order, and if I've forgotten anything then I probably didn't need it. And this to me of Tuesday - EGGS, YOU FUCKTARD.
I have a particularly special selection of shops by me, the legendary Asdawls and Lidls. The former is notorious for having a gaggle of heavily pregnant teenagers outside smoking and drinking shit cider.
The demographics I have noted:
If I shop on a lunchtime, there are the dazzled veg-groping geriatrics, who'll infrequently take me for an employee, possibly manager, because I'm young-ish and in work clothes
If I shop of an early weekday evening, it's prickish suits, lost young men, impoverished 'organic almonds' but terrible skin/ headwear and the most insanely friendly Polish chap at the counter whose eyes don't point in conventional directions.
Thursday nights are particularly special as that seems to be the day the overly-zealous Somali bag-packer works - the one who caused me to lose a loaf of bread by putting each of my items in a single back each, leaving me with so many bags I had no idea where the bread was.
Saturday morning is scrote-time - monsters with mini-monsters arguing over which sort of frozen chip Jaime Oliver likes, thieves, overweight mid-30s men picking up beer to beat their wife with and old men who can't understand why brocolli isn't thruppence ha'penny any more.
Saturday evening is stoners, pizzas and film, young professional women fresh from the gym and the two varieties of "Fuck, tomorrow's Sunday": the elderly and the pill-heads.
I'm sure there are some I've forgotten though.