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"What's less known is that Absinthe was created by accident, when William the Conqueror's bastard chopped off the penis of the legitimate heir to the throne with an antiquated falchion made of druid hide."
The severed penis was scooped up with a spade and diced amongst that night's vegetables. The head chef for the castle however was a throwback to ye olden pagan and druids and spirit of the wolf and running fast and haha i fucked yelinak with my axe did you and so he added the toenail shrapnel of the legendary storm giant Liam Neeson.
The green fluid that flowed forth was then drank and loved by many. A business venture followed and soon americans became one with pretension and hacked away at ridiculous stories under the influence of minced cock and toe shit.
unfortunately the recipe was carried away by boat to Oslo, where it was transcribed upon some magnetic malcontents and chained into an eternal basement.
I am one of those magnetic malcontents, coming to you now, live from my new position of apparent helicopter pilot, since i just slew the other man and this craft is falling swiftly.
there, i just figured it out, now i am flying around norway with this machine and now i will drop a barrel of absinthe upon that suspicious looking population of healthy beavers.
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