[Glice]

Right. Ok, if we're all having a serious moment.

I agree entirely that smoking is antisocial insofar as it's not very nice for non-smokers. I know a few people who are up the duff at the moment, and not only can they not drink, they can't watch other people drink because they don't want to damage their baby. And, while part of me thinks you should stop being such a bunch of girls about your lungs, there's another part that's a bit more moderate.

What I'm criticising is twofold - firstly, the advertising campaign which emphasises 'we can help you give up'. I like smoking. I think smoking is fucking great, and I'm certain it makes me at least a bizillion times sexier (and I'm pretty sexy at the best of times). I know smoking isn't perhaps as healthy as jogging, but jogging makes you look like a twat. It's my choice. I'm a grown-up, with a big cock and everything. I don't want to give up. Yes, yes, it might kill me. Having said that, I was chatting to an ice-cream van man the other day who smokes 20 a day and is 85. If I'm still alive at 85 I'll be pretty chuffed. But the point is I like to smoke.

Secondly, it's the absolute blanket ban which annoys me. I believe one of the initial ideas was heavy restrictions, which I wouldn't complain about. I wouldn't've minded a ban wherby if the establishment could safely confirm that the smoking area was entirely cut-off from the non-smoking area, then they could have a smoking area. Everyone's happy then. And I wouldn't've minded if there was a very heavy emphasis on non-smoking areas being larger (as there was with restaurant smoking a few years ago). What annoys me is that there is no sheltered public place where I can go and either meet people or just be around people who, like me, have decided they want to do one of the coolest things you can do to your lungs.

I mean, I say this, it's going to happen now and I probably won't give an arse until winter kicks in. But still. Smoking is really, really cool.