Thread: I broke up with my girl yesterday
View Single Post
Old 04.21.2006, 04:00 PM   #34
!@#$%!
invito al cielo
 
!@#$%!'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mars attacks
Posts: 42,683
!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses
Quote:
Originally Posted by _slavo_
Oh how pathetic, but....shit, that hurts.

We've been together for 4 years and the reason for splitting was that the relationship was not moving anywhere (translated - I did not want to move in with her).

shit.

not that anyone would care, but any support would be appreciated. I feel fucked up as never before and have to be pretending that I'm entusiatic at work.

hey man, the truth is, relationships move forward or die. i can understand her wanting to get more serious or looking elsewhere. that just happened to my brother in law-- girlfriend wanted to start making "plans" and he didn't. so they split. (they are both around 30 though, not 18, so this makes sense)

the thing is, you can't really be "friends" with her, because you can always increase intimacy but you can't withdraw it. when you're with her you'll be thinking of sex-- and friends don't have sex (mostly-- there are of course exceptions). relationships that end like that, you hang out again (hard not to, after 4 years), have a little consolation sex, think of going back, then decide not to, and on and off until the final hard breakup comes.

if you REALLY like this girl and she's great and you won't ever find one like her, you might want to reconsider the move-in. if you DO NOT want to commit yourself, and feel pushed and manipulated, think this is some kind of blackmail, you're not free to decide, etc, then let her go-- but you gotta let her have space to find a new dude. and enjoy your new freedom-- but as people have told you, it's not going to happen soon. suck it up! it will get better.

i split up with an amazing girlfriend when i was... 18 or 19... because she was so great i was afraid i'd be with only one woman all my life. and i was curious! i wanted to travel! meet women! so i split. and for a long time that seemed like a stupid move; but today i don't regret it at all. the adventures didn't really compare, but at least i learned that by myself. and the truth is that i just wasn't ready to settle, and things would have gone to shit eventually. so it all worked out in the end.

now go & get plastered, you'll need it.
!@#$%! is offline   |QUOTE AND REPLY|