Happy Birthday Philip. Ninety years of pure comedy gold.
1. "Ghastly."
Prince Philip's opinion of Beijing on a 1986 tour.
2. "Ghastly."
His opinion of Stoke-on-Trent, in 1997.
3. "Deaf? If you're near there, no wonder you are deaf."
Said to a group of deaf children standing near a Caribbean steel drum band in 2000.
4. "If you stay here much longer, you will go home with slitty eyes."
To a British student during his 1986 visit to China.
5. "You managed not to get eaten then?"
To a British student who had trekked in Papua New Guinea, during a 1998 official visit.
6. "You can't have been here that long -- you haven't got a pot belly."
To a British tourist during a tour of Budapest, 1993.
7. "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?"
Asked of a Scottish driving instructor in 1995.
8. "I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing."
Addressing a group of industrialists in 1961.
9. "It looks as though it was put in by an Indian."
The Duke's verdict on a fuse box during a tour of a Scottish factory in 1999.
10. "I didn't want a bloody lecture."
To Jamie Durie at the 2008 Chelsea Flower Show, after Durie had corrected his misidentification of a plant.
11. "We don't come here for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves."
During a trip to Canada in 1976.
12. "A few years ago, everybody was saying we must have more leisure, everyone's working too much. Now that everybody's got more leisure time they are complaining they are unemployed. People don't seem to make up their minds what they want."
On Britain's 1981 recession.
13. "British women can't cook."
To the Scottish Women's Institute in 1961.
14. "Your country is one of the most notorious centres of trading in endangered species."
Accepting a conservation award in Thailand in 1991.
15. "What do you gargle with -- pebbles?"
To Tom Jones after the 1969 Royal Variety Performance.
16. "It's a vast waste of space."
At the reception for a new 18 million pound British embassy in Berlin, which the Queen had just opened.
17. "There's a lot of your family in tonight."
After glancing at businessman Atul Patel's name tag during a 2009 Buckingham Palace reception for 400 influential British Indians.
18. "If it has four legs and it is not a chair, if it has two wings and flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it."
Addressing a World Wildlife Fund meeting in 1986.
19. "You are a woman, aren't you?"
To a woman in Kenya in 1984, after accepting a gift.
20. "Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?"
To a wheelchair-bound Susan Edwards and her guide dog in 2002.
21. "If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?"
In an interview after the Dunblane shootings in 1996.
22. "Get me a beer. I don't care what kind it is, just get me a beer!"
On being offered the finest Italian wines by PM Giuliano Amato at a dinner in Rome in 2000.
23. "I would like to go to Russia very much -- although the bastards murdered half my family."
In 1967, asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union.
24. "Oh, it's you that owns that ghastly car, is it? We often see it when driving to Windsor Castle."
To neighbour Elton John after hearing he had sold his Watford Football Club-themed Aston Martin in 2001.
25. "The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop the tourism, we could stop the congestion."
At the opening of City Hall in 2002.
