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I received a call from my mom a few hours ago. It was a call I'd been expecting over the last couple of weeks, but still was hoping it wouldn't be this soon. She called to tell me that my grandfather died earlier this evening.
Death is still something I'm not completely accustomed to dealing with. As a child I more or less felt the way most children feel....people get old, and then they die. I was sad when my other grandfather passed away, but I wasn't shocked. He was old, + I'd expected it to happen eventually. The sadness I felt was mainly a result of watching my mom have to go through that (this was her father, + being that I have no relationship to speak of with my own dad, she had to tell me that his father died today).
Of course, being a bit older than I was the first go around, + having experienced the death of a dear friend my own age, I feel quite differently than I did at 15 (age I was when my first grandfather died).
Mixture of emotions. I'll be having to go to Florida sometime over the next couple of days. I'll certainly see my dad, which I'm not excited about at all. I likely won't cry or know what to say, which I fear most others will interpret as me not caring. I do care, I just....seldom cry in front of anyone, ever. And really, what can one be expected to say? A bit stressed, distraught, confused, sad....all of these things, I am.
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Team Thurston!
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