|
Seriously guys, but seriously, if I don't WANT to pay taxes, why should I have to?
I saw this guy at the bus stop this morning, he was all smelly and poor and fat, and he was eating an ice cream. I had to get on the bus to go to work but he just sat there. He must not have a job. When I saw him eating that ice cream all I could think about was how my taxes had paid for it and it wasn't fair that I had to go to work and he probably would just sit at the bus stop all day eating ice cream. At lunch time I read the Daily Mail which proved what a scrounger he was. But I couldn't believe the extent of his scrounging. The massive headline said "SHOCK! SCANDAL!" and so my blood started to boil. Then it had all these figures and percentages and words like "OUTRAGE!" "DISGRACE!". The story was already written in my head, I barely needed to read the article. I was so angry all I could do was act like a dick to everyone in work for the rest of the day. I went around shouting at people to stop slacking and work harder. This country is falling apart. Some of my co workers are black, they'll probably give me Bongo Mumbo disease if I share a coke can with them. I went home and collapsed into utter depression on my sofa. I turned on ITV but there was no programmes about middle class detectives brutally beating working class teenagers found smoking a joint.
This was going to be a crap night. Usually when you watch those programmes for a brief moment everything in the universe fits into place. Because when the cop has the poor kid with his hoodie on in the interview room, you just know that he is the murderer, and also a paedo and a drug runner and a serial rapist. You see it's hard to explain, you can discern this all from just looking at him and the evil sounding music. This is how the world should work and I am eternally confused in real life when I meet people and all my assumptions about them turn out to be apparently "false" and "all in my head". Real life should work like this, but it doesn't because of political correctness and the euro.
I felt so angry at the tv, because they were trying to be all fancy and smart and it turned out the poor guy didn't do it and it was the rich woman. all I could think of doing was ringing up a friend and insinuating that her husband had an affair. Not that it was true, it just felt like the right thing to do. However when I phoned her up she didn't seem to want to listen to me harangue her about what was wrong with her life and what a lazy bitch she was and how she was a disgrace and it was all her fault for being so stupid. She hung up the phone, which confirmed to me that she was a cunt all along and i was fully entitled to have told the boss at work that she was stealing office supplies when she wasn't. This lost her the promotion she wanted, but I had been right all along and now I had proof due to her rudeness on the phone.
Things were getting desperate and I had spent all my savings on lottery tickets and pyramid schemes. However the real cause of my financial woes was the euro and benefits cheats. At the time it was 2008 and we still hadn't got rid of that crook Brown yet. Obviously because of him and benefits cheats hard working people like me were eternally poor. I needed to do something drastic, and spent the night thinking about what it could be. Then I suddenly had an epiphany, I would go and buy a lottery ticket because I felt really really lucky all of a sudden. When it turned out that I lost I was so angry and depressed I drove my car into a wall. I then lost the rest of my money attempting to sue my doctor for not noticing I was depressed and thus not stopping me from crashing my car.
|