Some notes on hipster law, 2011
 

- If you still care, you're a useless prick.
-Whenever you say 'hipster', you're talking about your own social anxieties.
-This is a forum for Sonic Youth. You are immediately and without question a hipster in the eyes of people who've heard of Sonic Youth (that is, people who have no problem finding other humans to assist in the stimulation of their genitals)
- People who haven't heard of Sonic Youth think you're a cunt. Not a hipster. Just a boring, whinging, too-white cunt.
- Some people think about what they wear before they leave the house.
- Some people don't think about what they wear before they leave the house.
- You, meanwhile, need a wash.
- This is the internet. It and the outside world are not in competition. It's arguable that they might even complement each other.
- In the fine schoolyard tradition of 'whoever smelt it, dealt it', the only people who are hipsters (in the sense of being vacuous, vain and overly obsessed with the opinions of some spurious clique) are those who accuse others of being hipsters.
- The world is large. Fundamentally, you are small. Don't be petty as well.
- For fuck's sake. No-one cares or ever cared about what you or anyone else thinks a hipster is or isn't.
- Get a wash, for the very sake of fuck.

i will wash tomorrow.
im busy watching bands on tv.
such a hipster.

There is no they. Only your ineptitude as a human. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BREATHE AND NOT MAKE A FUCKING MESS AND LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

Someone is going to be footing your moral cleaning bill, and is sure as old concrete isn't going to be me.

Glice would make a good dad.

For someone who dislikes hipsters so much, you sure act like the stereotypical version of one. You know, passive-aggressive irony and all that.

by that you mean a really strict one?

imagine.
grounded for not liking avril lavigne
having to listen to her albums.
dear god.

I think I'd prefer a negative approach. You know, slaps if they're beating up neighbour's kids, decapitation if they start thinking about liking Pavement. That sort of thing. They're my kids. They'd have great taste.

Typical hipster response. I said dislike, not hate. Hipster.

I'm not white, and after today's trainride, I do need a wash.

Racist.

Somebody ban this hipster!

can i have some and send them to you and pick them up when they're 18?

So long as you get 'real coffee will probably kill them' tattooed on your hands now.

I am too white, but that's because I'm goth, you prick.

If I was white, I'd respond the same way.

right now, I'm enjoying a nice salad with mushrooms, dried cranberies, sumac, salmon and a nice asiago dressing. all the while, my computer downloads Japanese entertainment.

reverse-racist.

that's so goth.

oh, and feta.

did I mention that there's also a tortilla involved?

¿how you like me now, amigo?