Who would you want to write your biography?
 

Imagine you had the chance for one of your favourite writers to document your life so far. Which one would you choose for the job? I'm currently pondering this myself, so haven't got a suggestion for me yet.

Allen Ginsberg.

Preferably someone with an axe to grind and who didn't ask permission first.

If Allen Ginsberg can't write it, I would want Courtney Love to do it, she is so deluded with drugs, she just ought to have a great imagination.

Tom Wolfe. So he could capture the epic sweep and significance of my every action.

Ok - I choose Byron Coley. He can put loads of "ironic" "comments" in brackets "like" "this", plus provide endless footnotes on obscure Venezuelan prog groups.

Oh that's a good one.

Somebody who wouldn't mind some editing being done to it. Anyone who writes for The Sun would be just perfect.

Alternatively, someone racist like Glice.

I think Sarramkrop wants Richard Littlejohn to write his biography.

Stephen Hawkins, doing the audio book.

"SynthY-was-a-hot-piece-of-action-full-stop"

Mmm, sounds promising.

Charles Bukowski.

Haha.

Same kind of answer:

Definitely somebody who held a grudge and would dig all sorts of non-existant dirt to make my life sound more interesting than it actually is.

I don't want a biography to be written.

brian sewell

Raymond Queneau, even if he had nothing that interesting to write about, he'd write with a funny/interesting/clever style.

Can anyone imagine having their biography written by Henry Rollins? It would be like having someone shouting your life at you for 300-odd pages.

Rollins biography of me: "He was weak"

Vodka Goblin