Stuck in a rut!
 

Bleh! Stuck in a rut. Stuck in the house.

Everyone's asleep, and I can only think about how I did a lot of pain killers like...9 months ago.

I mean, how dumb was I?????????????????????????????????????????RIGHT?

I need a job too.

Not in that outfit, honey.

this better?

Hahaha, where on earth/net did you find that?

that was actually #1 pic when i googled "bellboy"

That's funny.

I've been miserable lately. Hence the Stuck in a Rut business. I hate to bitch, especially about my parents, but I'd rather do it here, than annoy the people I actually know.

They don't trust me any more, which is whatever, I guess they have good reason, but now they police me more than ever. I fucking hate it. They think good parenting is policing, or that is how they trick themselves into thinking they are good parents. They haven't taught me a thing about life, or any shit like that. Now I keep wondering if my little sister hadn't been born when I was 9, if things would have been any different. I think it was a crucial time, ages 9-12. When I was emotionally developing. And they really weren't around. Because of that, I've never really felt truly close to them. I don't resent my sister. I love her.

I'm really not this whiny in real life.

they caught you/ smelled you/ found you out, didn't they?

what gave it away? did you raid the fridge?

or did your sister rat you out so she'd get a new car?

I don't even know how! They apparently are sniffing the inside of my back pack. AND somehow they got into my myspace and read my messages. What the fuck.

ha ha ha.

i totally saw that coming.

i wonder if they realize that they create the emotional issues that ultimately fueled your escapades.

no, of course not.

I am so glad I got out of high school before myspace exploded.

And I don't even know how to get that across to them.

I've tried, and they just give me some "You are so spoiled" shit. Apparently material comfort erases my emotional capacity.

And don't go saying that I do/did drugs because of emotional problems. It was fun. But I guess I can't say I did the pain killers for fun. Some of it was definitely because of them.

I won't be surprised if they read this. Hi, Benny, Hi Susan! I resent you! Hahaha

you did drugs with the unbridled enthusiasm of a prisoner escaped. for you, it seems to me, the drugs were a way out of your sheltered bubble where mommy overprotects you.

here's my hypothesis-- your mother is the overprotective one and your father is sort of her enabler-- i mean, he wouldn't mind setting you loose upon the word, but then he'd have to deal with her. am i correct?

so, anyway-- overbearing mothers, male sons, a bad combination after age 12, i don't care what is your sexual orientation.

just work hard for your scholarships man-- and quit the fucking drugs which, well, likely make you stupid-- stupid enough to get caught! ha ha ha. sorry, that was a bit mean... but seriously.

The thing I want to tell them but will never do because they are parents and will never be pro-drug, and I guess they'll find out if they actually read this, is that I've been smoking pot for almost a year. All of my junior year. And my grades are still immaculate. I got the same exact grades as my sophomore year.

I think both of them are more or less the same in how over protective they are. Maybe my dad has just become more like her. I honestly don't know why they are still married. A lot of the time it seems like they should be divorced, I thought that growing up at a very young age. I don't know where I am going with any of this.

holy ass!

well you're not wake & bake (are you?), & who knows, maybe you're self-medicating anxiety.

No, I'm not like a huge stoner or anything. I know how to moderate. And I'm a responsible person.

guess so. or so everyone claims haha.

but anyway, yeah, a job-- becoming more independent will do you good.

what's your pick of a job?

I'll take anything. But I haven't really been looking. I think I'll go pick up some applications tomorrow though.

working by a fryer will give you zits like crazy.

"applications"-- sounds like you wanna work in a mall.

what are your skills? like, ninja skills, computer hacker skills....

eh???

Hahaha.

I don't particularly want fast-food. Working in a mall wouldn't bother me too much.

you ever done the myers-briggs?

Painkillers rock, yo. Don't regret it, you have to admit it was awesome.

I don't even know what it is...

...to google, I go.

ha ha ha-- somehow i just imagined you looking kinda like this--

do this test-- it's cool as shit

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

Hahaha:p

You are:

* moderately expressed extravert
* moderately expressed intuitive personality
* moderately expressed thinking personality
* moderately expressed judging personality

I told you I know how to moderate.

ENTJ?

so you're ok around people, good at noticing patterns, analytical & like "rules"

ha ha im an INFP-- i hate rules!

You are:

• distinctively expressed introvert
• distinctively expressed intuitive personality
• moderately expressed feeling personality
• moderately expressed perceiving personality

anyway find your "ideal career"

From wiki:

“

ENTJs have a natural tendency to marshal and direct. This may be expressed with the charm and finesse of a world leader or with the insensitivity of a cult leader. The ENTJ requires little encouragement to make a plan. One ENTJ put it this way... "I make these little plans that really don't have any importance to anyone else, and then feel compelled to carry them out." While "compelled" may not describe ENTJs as a group, nevertheless the bent to plan creatively and to make those plans reality is a common theme for NJ types. - Joe Butt, University of Virginia[6]
”

ENTJs often excel in business. They are assertive, outspoken, confident, outgoing, energetic, charismatic, fair-minded, and unaffected by conflict or criticism. However, other traits may lessen the impact of their strengths. They may appear argumentative, confrontational, insensitive, intimidating, and controlling. They can overwhelm others with their energy, intelligence, and desire to order the world around them.

ENTJs tend to cultivate their personal power, and often end up taking charge of a situation that seems (to their mind, at least) to be out of control. Also, ENTJs are "knowledge-seekers," striving to learn new things, which helps them become good problem-solvers. They may be viewed by others as aloof and cold-hearted, since ENTJs appear to take a tough approach to emotional or personal issues. In situations requiring feeling and value judgments, ENTJs are well served to seek the advice of a trusted Feeling type.

According to David Keirsey, based on observations of behavior, notable ENTJs include Napoleon Bonaparte, Margaret Thatcher, Golda Meir, and Bill Gates.[3]

So I can take over Europe, or start Microsoft.

ha ha ha-- do you feel thats an accurate description?

http://www.personalitypage.com/ENTJ_car.html

no bellboy uniform for you!!

Some of it is pretty accurate.

Some of it isn't.

I'd say about a 65/35 split, respectively?

The test is weird, because there are things that I recognize about myself, and I answer accordingly, and other things that I'm not sure about, but answer with what I want to be like.

I've thought about being a lawyer, and a high school teacher. University Professor is up there, but as I'm not in college, it is hard to say that that is what I want to do.

answer honestly, pendejo!

well my point is if you gonna go to the mall try to aim for being the manager of the fucking store.

i'd hate the mall-- i hate people! (that I in my type is not for nothing)

Pendejo was a word in All The Pretty Horses, which I have to read for school. Part of the assignment is to write 20 words that you didn't know and look them up, and those words that the class collected would be the springboard for vocabulary work. I thought about putting Pendejo down because it would be funny, or something, I suppose.

Fuck, I'm going to sleep.

ha ha ha.

anyway that infp is pretty accurate for me.

the point is, know thyself, and don't torment yourself with jobs you hate, even if it's just for the munny. as in william.

ive been stuck with blood meridian since forever. i didnt have my dictionary and surprise, i loved that this book had lots of words i didnt know. but anyway, i unpacked one of the dictionaries, so now i can finally read it.

ps- go to sleep, drogadicto

I'd say Myers-Briggs is incredibly accurate. I took it twice, three years apart, and got the same thing both times (INFJ). Accurate, yes, but it didn't really help me with anything. It's a useful communication tool in relationships, though, to help understand eachother.