places to meet nice people?
 

i've attracted the wrong crowd my whole life and i'm really sick of it, if there's a tonne of nice people around everyone will ignore me except the biggest assholes around. i'm not perfect or nothing myself but this situation comes to aggravate me more and more. where the hell do y'all normal people do to meet other nice people? it's like i'm walking around with a sign on that scares decent people away but all the coked out sociopath's and people throwing stuff at homeless people and harassing women on the street will always talk to me when i don't want to.

normal?

you're in hell with all the other hungry ghosts.

there's nowhere to go for a reason.

consumer slaves can be better addicted to commodities and harvested for profits when they are isolated units, unable to organize collectively or even enjoy each others company in ways that don't require all their money to be wasted. people seem terrified of intimacy that isn't sexual or drug based or part of a job.

isolation afflicts everyone now, except the rich. i dont have a solution, and noone else does. if you were to say this somewhere more public you'd get lambasted with positive sounding "advice" meant to secretly scold you into getting a job/keeping appearances up somehow. like its all your fault.

being alone as we are today is unique in history and its not something the brain or body is built for. there really are no solutions. you could start hooking up with people online for sex, but theres all the stds and problems that come with that. you could become a drug addict, which is how most people deal with it.

i go for very long walks. if you have a dog, you can walk it a lot. you can get a bicycle (and a lock obviously cos it will be stolen) and go find spots to read books in. there's really no answer. we're all suffering in this way now.

I dunno. Really? I see people in pairs, both smiling. Restaurants full of happy, chatty tables. Dumbfucks getting married left and right. Well populated parties. What's up with all that?

As for the problem at hand, I can't imagine your insistent pimple popping is doing much for your social life. Maybe learn to control that?

i already have a bicycle and books, my dog is part of the wrong crowd as well and she's always starting fights so i have to walk her late and pick up poo in the dark

my problem isn't being bad at being alone, it's just that i don't like anyone i do meet. i see other people meeting normal people all the time and i end up meeting some cokehead who wants to fight me 5 minutes later

there's no way everybody has the same problem

fuck normal people.

what you want is to meet INTERESTING people.

all those fuckers you see paired up and partying and looking so happy are faking it.

I wouldn't consider myself or any of the people I like to have around me to be normal. In fact, I prefer people that are just my type of weird/fascinating. 'Nice' doesn't necessarily equal 'Normal'. As for places where you can find such people: There is no particular place!

Sucks to be a killjoy but I can only tell you to look around and be attentive. You might find them practising a hobby of yours while looking for groups of people that are into that as well. You might find them merely by chance. I've even met a nice person I nowadays enjoy to spend some quality time with while being intoxicated at a concert.

Life is arbitrary and so are the acquaintances you are going to make. Of course you should try to make a conscious move if you feel that things have to change. It's just impossible to make any suggestions that promise a winning strategy.

That said: Maybe try to reflect on what makes you feel comfortable, which situations you enjoy etc...
And then base your effort on these aspects. It can only work if it makes sense for you. And honesty is also never a bad thing when trying to find the right people.

If it's any consolation: I'm having trouble with the consistency of my acquaintanceships right now. I don't get to meet some of my dear old friends as often as I'd like anymore and many of the new people I meet are just part a passing phase. A sign of the times I guess.

Keep up the good intentions! Knowing is the first step.

dead_battery and Rob( i do know nice people but not any interesting people) said it better than i ever would in my lifetime. there's really no solution to this problem. it affects me too. this is why im 30 something and a complete dick. i tend to straddle line between satisfying my deviant wild needs and being the most straight lace person that i can be.

best advice is to just stay cool, find some niche and don't trivialize shit like this.

SERIOUSLY:

troof.


Antagon speaks some troof too. Just go out n do it. Lately I've been trying to be more open(because I felt I was in a similar rut)....it's weird...but I've been surprising myself lately like this....and well some people are dicks and it's ok to not want to have nothing to do with them....anyways...good luck man.




people are overrated.(rob i. helped with this too...sort of....you know with all that talk about greasy shits)

neither do i, and i meet tons of normals. i hate the normals! they are vectors of communicable stupidity.

gimme a good eccentric any day instead. even with all their neuroses.

BUT the good eccentrics really hide-- they don't advertise their condition with flashy piercings or special clothing that scream "luk at meeee". instead they cloak themselves in normal signifiers, so as not to get lynched by mobs. kinda like the stealth bomber. eccentricity is a tough gig.

anyway i'm sorry for your situation. i don't know where you live so i cannot recommend.

"My whole has been ruined by people who are nice."
-Morrissey, "Disappointed"

Make of that what you will.

"just a dead man walking throu the dead of night. it's impossible to wait until the light".

interesting posts in this thread




i use the term normal to mean simply somebody who doesn't go around looking for trouble and always finding it, just people who try to be moral. nothing to do with appearance or beliefs or anything, normal to me is meaning somebody that tries to have a decent life for themself and not fuck with anyone else. i'm not opposed to meeting people who are strange ,just not people who are always on drugs and looking for fights or something, people who will fuck up my life.

i can understand what you're talking about cloaking because i try to dress and act inconspicuously but i don't act or express myself like others and everyone notices i'm weird pretty fast

even people with morals try to fuck with you somehow or another.

"so and so doesnt' have morals" who really does?

yes, i know what you mean. criminal sociopaths-- users, abusers, assholes.

if you're attracting them, i don't know why. either they think you're like them or they see you as a potential mark. but that's just a guess-- i don't really know.

do you live in a tough neighborhood?

If you keep going to the same places and doing the same things, I'd venture to guess that you will continue to meet the same sort of people.

Once you start doing different things and going to new places (the sort of places you wouldn't normally go to), then you will have the opportunity to interact with a different set of people......some who you may or may not find to be intriguing.

^ = church

not at all, i was raised in a worse area, most bulgarian people are really negative and paranoid and that might be part of my problem, i think being an immigrant definitely makes things somewhat harder socially

yeah this is the obvious answer but i'm not religious so i'd really need to push myself to go regularly haha

fuck church. i've done that. dead end. you'll only encounter nice people who are paranoid in a nice way. stay away from those dickheads. they're the worst and will make you much more misearble. you'll put too much emphasis on their suppose niceness.

maybe all the cool nice people are hiding unlike you. i think that's the case and are fearful of the assholes like you.

I didn't know this. Well, yeah. I can imagine. Especially depending on where you live, how conservative it is, how the average citizen defines insider and outsider, that sort of thing.

(By the way, everytime I hear a foreign accent in my whitebread area, I get excited. I want to know about another culture, "what it's like over there," stuff like that. And if I happen to know a phrase or two in that language, watch out. But the vast majority of the times this has happened, the other person doesn't give a fuck about my interest. I guess they want to be a part of here, not there.)

ah yeah, i see. being an immigrant definitely has its stresses. i'm one too. takes some time to adjust.

if your upbringing makes you paranoid and negative you might be tuning to the frequency of the paranoid and negative in your new place. what in bulgaria was "normal" here is more "criminal." makes sense?

it takes time to get absorbed into a culture. the humanities are a good way to "get" a culture-- art, music, literature, history... but i'd also try some kind of therapy. not sure if it's available to you, but that might be a way to tweak your attitudes/behaviors to something more fitting to your new social environment, if that makes sense.

and maybe do some theatre.

This suggestion wasn't necessarily directed at church, tho it does sound like a church visit would be outside the norm.......what about a farmers market? We have one here the first two Saturdays of each month. It started small and has grown and grown. It opens at 6AM and people are all over the place, young and old, kool and not so kool......buying fresh produce and learning how to grow their own.

Just like church, it's not about becoming a person with a garden or who eats healthier, it's about putting yourself in an awkward position and seeing what results :)

oh yeah, normal elsewhere is fucked up in canada, i've been living here since i was pretty young but was brought up very differently than most, i think being from two places is a big part of who i am good and bad. i get on well with foreigners most of the time, jamaica has no connection to my background but jamaicans always understand things i say that freak canadian people out, i think maybe there's something about having a different frame of reference that has a bigger effect than being from any specific cultures.

i've been in therapy before for ocd, i do think having that disorder is a barrier to forming good relationships but shouldn't it scare off assholes too lol?

riiiight. i get it now.

i have a similar situation in that most of the people i get along with here-- i mean get along well enough to form friendships-- are foreigners. with gringos it's harder-- not impossible, but there is more of a cultural chasm to bridge. it's not so much about cultural referents ("where were you on 9/11"), but implicit values and behaviors. this makes me a "minority" of a kind. i was born in latin america, but US hispanics are farther away from me culturally than a european, for example-- usa hispanics are more americanized. but not just any european-- things will run more smoothly for me with "continentals" than with british people, for example.

now with gringos proper i've generally gotten along better with catholics and jews than with protestants. why? no fucking idea. it just happens. it's not like i ask for people's backgrounds, but the connection happens. maybe it's having shared values/attitudes/perspectives/traditions (e.g., forgiving "sins", or a love of argument, or a history of guilt). maybe it's that they are also minorities/outsiders of sorts here vs the wasp ethos. this is a statistical thing, not an absolute that applies to every individual, you understand-- just general trends that i don't seek but somehow find me.

now, i'm still a fucking weirdo in my own home country, and therefore a triple weirdo here, which makes me highly lynchable, so to build a friendly network of fellow eccentrics is quite a big fucking task, and often full of disappointments and frustrations, like the myth of sisyphus, but still worth pursuing, one annoying test person at a time, ha ha ha.

with some effort and patience, you'll find your own tribe, but it never hurts to get a bit of help. i had a really good shrink for years, and what i learned from the fucker was priceless-- it helped, of course, that he was a weirdo himself, and had spent some years in latin america, and while he was very much an american he had jewish/european/new york roots, and loved books too, so we could understand each other, and argue like crazy and have fun doing that, until i finally got better.

Tea places*.

*the kind that don't have wifi

What aboot hobbies? Maybe you want to learn something and there's a community for it?

Look, I've spawned a bandwidth clogging image-only posting clone ;)

maybe you should take up an American accent. works for me. :confused:

then again, although I meet new and interesting people, and the folks at work treat me well, I seriously have no time for any friends beyond that of my son and my wife.

I leave the house at 5:45am and I'm not back until 7:45pm, so the thought of anything more than dinner, making tomorrows lunch, a few Star Trek episodes and some sleep is beyond me.

there's been plenty of cool people on the trains, and few downtown, but I reckon until I move out of the god-cursed bush, I'm fucked for "friends".

synopsis: change the accent.

by-the-by: would you be interested in me ripping an old cassette tape I found? it's dancehall reggae from a public access radio station in Dallas, from 1993. I plan to put it to digital, for my own listening loving, but thought you might find it interesting as well....bred'rin.

what is it like singers from dallas or something? that sounds pretty hot

i thought about this thread some more and i now think the best answer is death

^^^ yeah, all the cool people are already in Valhalla.

the tape is from a public radio broadcast of circa '93 dancehall artists from Jamdown. I just happened to live in Dallass at the time that I recorded it.

truthfully, I have almost just as large of a (dancehall) reggae collection, and could likely make a superior mix, but them again, so might you. I've just been listening to old tapes lately, and remembered how much I lived for this weekly broadcast (to the point of recording it).

of course, all of this involves time that I won't likely have for another month, but once I have a chance to upload it, I'll toss you a link.

maybe once all of that is said and done, I might also be able to take the time to make a mix of my own, from my own collection, and send you a link to that too, if you like. nobody else really likes dancehall, like I do, and maybe you too, friend.

syg is a place to meet nice people.

You have given out too much Reputation in the last 24 hours, try again later.

The library's a nice place to meet nice people.

people who talk to themselves and smell like weewee.

people in libraries smell worse than that!!! i had a librarian to ask me if i wanted to go to new york city with him and his buttboy that smelt like straight up ass. dude, was a child molester.

humans in libraries know if you come there to socialize which makes it even more awkward. freakest most boring figurines ever. church is a whole lot easy going. at least you might get some horny eye from some hottie.

the christscum in this town believe witches are real and satan is literally in their head telling them bad thoughts.

one time this asshole with his wife started preaching to me on the street. my effeminate voice moved him to tell me that he'd exorcized people and the demons came out of them in a voice belonging to the opposite gender of the body of the person they lived in. i told him "if you're god was real i'd kill him." he swung a punch at me but stopped and froze it just before making contact. i couldnt stop laughing.

these christofacist bumpkins would have me hung if they got their way so fuck them all.

FUCK EM

burn their churches and all the obese acoustic guitar players will roast alive while they're screaming "PRAISE BE!" the fucking scunges