It turns me on to watch you watching me.

Preevert.

And here I thought -

No. That's far too lecherous for the public eye.

Says the man with a photo of dissected female anatomy.

ALERT ALERT....hey Mr Boss man/Lady....Truncated is STEALING PENS FROM THE STATIONARY CUPBOARD!!!! and doing loads of UNAUTHORISED PHOTOCOPYING!!! ALERT....

There....hope that might help getting you sacked.

I DO steal pens. I fucking love pens. I am fixated by writing instruments. Oh, the joy of a smooth, 1.0 mm, rubber-barreled retractable black pen - gets me tingly in my naughty bits.

You devil's curtains and filthy pillows?

I must be interpreting that the wrong way, because it's sounding quite illicit.

I think you understand it perfectly. I would say obscene though.

Also, steal me some pens wold you? Mine are rubbish

Will do. I get to buy my own office supplies, unmonitored. Ohhhh yeah!

A friend of mine wanted to get sacked. He took ketamine in the toilets for a few days, and bam. Sacked. I love him for taking the second stupidest drug to take at work at work (after Acid).

Did he ever make it OUT of the toilets? That shit knocks you flat!

He was a seasoned K-head. He and I were the only ones I knew for a while who could go out dancing on it. He would've been walking very very slowly and feeling a bit like the michelin man though. I can't imagine what the phone conversations were like though.

I can't imagine what the phone conversations were like though.[/quote]

very long i would iamgine.

I always liked going out and making fun of the people who'd just taken that, and were lying flat on their back in the middle of dance floor, completely oblivious to their surroundings.

I should've pickpocketed those assholes.

and the nonsense they talk, jeez.

'man i can feel the music, can you see the music man?'

'no its just a radio playing in the kitchen'

There's nothing worse than drug-stereotypes. And there's no worse drug-stereotypes than stoners. I fucking hate stoners.

yeah stoners are the pinnacle of human lameness

I like 'em, they always have good food in the house.

I just don't like ten ten-socond delay that their brain goes into. Or the way everything is amazing to them.

'DO you want a cup of coffee?'

pause...deep thought...wait...

'Hey, yeah! That's amazing, man.'

The overuse of the word 'man' is a prooblem too.