diesel exists in the real world unlike you cunts

you fucking flapjacks

excuse me? my jack has never flapped. not of its own accord, anyway. that's just sick. yr just sick.

MMMMM....pancakes....

My thoughts exactly.

i wish i had pancakes right now... mmm.
no, waffles.
NO! french toast!
aw, fuck yeah, french toast.

Salmon Salad, Son

I had pancakes for breakfast, with raspberries, and strawberries, and cherries. And a very large soy latte. oh yes. mmmmmmmm.

why are they called flapjacks in the states? really?

You're making me drool.

I'm not one to labour a point. Obviously we have different interpretations. This is always the problem with talking to Americans - they seem to live in hermetic bubbles of linguistic wrong.

Yeah I was wondering how they got from flapjacks to pancakes. Weird.

What? How can you say that? You Brits don't even know how to talk right.

It's our language you moron! If you don't speak English like the English then you're doing it wrong!

Your language? Spoken with the typical arrogance of a Brit. We had to rescue the language from you twats to make it right, you dumb shit limey. Wot?

Yes our language. I'm not just British, I'm English. I speak English.

You use the word twat, a very British word, and yet you think you have saved the English language. Surely you shouldn't if you were trying to save the language but you're using the development that are specifically British.

It's not your language. It's American English, ie, the right English. But stick to your silly limey English if you so choose. My regards to the Queen. Too bad we didn't invade your country when we had the chance and Condy Rice was still at the helm.

Shakespeare.

John fucking Updike.

Ernest motherfucking Hemingway.

Vladimir sonofabitching Nabokov.

The thing for me is that there are hundreds of versions of English. The one that I speak is different from the one you speak, and gmku is different again.

You've lived in the same area as me, but do you know where it's appropriate to say 'belter' or 'bleeder' or 'beauty'? Three words that all have a similar intent and sociolectical definition (loosely, an obviously stupid person), but they each come from a different borough in south Bristol. The point I'm making is that they English you use is by no means a more orthodox version of English just because you're 'English' - in fact, in this instance, I imagine that your English is just as inorthodox a form of English as the English of someone from Kentucky, or Kingston, or Nairobi or Swansea.

Standard English is, to my mind, an ideal formed in the subconscious of the world, not something that actually exists. It's fine that a lot of people are inobservant of these distinctions, but these distinctions do exist and it's precisely these distinctions that make us humans. Innit bredrin?

say it in Broookkeennn English...