are you into me? if so, let me buy you a drink somewhere

Hi.

I'm feeling awfully confused with this morning's text....


Actually not only that.....ALL communication we had this weekend. I really don't know what the fuck went on there.

Hello, your dogs fucking sucks, did you know that?

you smell like soup

get the fuck out of my house, you look like death incarnate and smell like auschwitz.

please please please be there next week, i don't even care if you lied to me

okay: i'm intrigued by this one. how did the hobo get in, in the first place? and why won't you say that to his face?

you are literally the biggest pussy i have ever met

alas it was no hobo, it was this infuriatingly simple girl. feels the compulsion to make nicknames for people by augmenting their first name with a new letter. eg I'm edward so she started calling me 'cegstord'. bitch would not get outtttttt. should have pulled the 'diarrhoea avalanche' card, not exactly alluring.

couldn't say it to her face because talking to her is akin to slow, slow rape...on your GRANNY while you're left sitting there knitting.

seriously though?
i got plenty of game so... psssschd.

she was in your house? how did she get in? roommate's friend?

stupidly I invited her, or more I was with some friends and she followed me..playing the drunk excuse, woo.

i'm not into film as much as you think; i just like talking to you

Yo winter, I know yous still around n stuff, but like you gotta calm yo ass down dawg....just a little bit ok?

Don't tell me that. I know yer my going to be there.

Meh.

Your energy and your positivity really do me good, yet at the same time both of these traits act as a tease and are also the source of my sadness. Your presence is the most powerful force in my life right now.

Dear little bunny rabbit. I'm not going to run you over and spill yer guts all over the road, but I don't want to do it while hitting another vehicle. If you weren't in such a hurry, I'd be able to A. not slide in slow to NOT hit you and B. I would be able to tell you about the safety of using crosswalks.