but what drugs? i have none.

your brain is a drug

you have to go sober.

dig it out with a fork

a walk, some fresh air, and intensely staring at a tree for as long as it takes.

welcome to amateur heidegger hour with sarram

Perhaps. For somebody who lives in two places across the world, it would seem that way. Getting on a plane because you think somebody's face is pretty and you write nice things with them, I'm not so sure. I'd do it if I didn't have the child and a good job, but if she doesn't I'll understand.

anyway, I didn't mean to hijack your pity me thread other than to point out that there's always somebody in a more pitiable position. I know there is compared to me. I have a fucking lot right now, and a major source of irritation just walked out the door, albeit with a few thing she should have left.

barely any trees around me.

as for picking my brain with a fork, it reminds me i saw some brains being fried on tv and i got all nervous.

there is no better reason for getting on a plane that somebody's pretty face and nice words.

i love it when you talk to me about alma. verme is one of those people, he says things to me that for some reason make me think YEAH hes right. thats it.

ha. those were pessoa's words, not mine.

i know, he's pretty amazing.
but you just like have this zen thing about you, i don't know.
imma let you buy me a beer.

Do you think you might write me a letter of reference?

coming from me, it probably would do more harm than help but yes i'll sign as someone else.

google a tree pic and stare at it, then.

as if i haven't tried that. this does it for me:

did you try staring at a picture of myself? I could up one, if you like.

yes please.
the little boy got boring now.

This is just too weird. I was thinking about how you seem so tightly wound, even moreso than me. I was thinking about how you are probably a really nice person under all that severe bitch persona. And now you write this. If I could do something for you to make it all go away I would. I really, really would.

ok, i will. Not now, though, as i am off to bed. In the meantime, chillax and sweet dreams.

Could lolcats help?

it makes me miss mine.