did you try ducktape?
:)



damn, I always thought it spelled like d u c k tape
guess what?

excuse me sir. have you been eating Burger King? may i suggest you to Red Lobster just a block away.

do you have anything thing illegal in your pockets and yr backpack? are you homeless? hold yr arms up please sir.

ok. maybe i should direct you to the nearest Mekky Dees just a block away. have a good night.

tip of the hat.

Speaking of, Burger King

If you have any sort of rapport with her, you should consider the following. Video or audio record her little rants, like the ones you've posted above and then play it back for her. Not to be rude or for a good laugh, but for the possibility she has no idea she is doing such things and may possibly change said behavior once realized.

Other than restrooms, just about 99% of where I work is constantly recorded. I've noticed that when others view themselves "working" they are sometimes taken aback my the motions, actions and posture.

Unless she is your boss, I doubt it could hurt......

Duuuude.. it cant seriously be that big a deal?

she looks so florida

Red Lobsters garlic buttered buscuits are so good and that Burger King smoke blows for miles. tainting all in its wake.

excuse me sir, that weapon is for the cracking the Lobsters.

I am amazed on how much I could fuck up my life in a few days.

it is not. but I work in a Dean's office, super quiet. with 7 people, and she is the only sound I hear all fucking day. Most of the time she is mumbling to herself, but every once in a while she is actually saying something TO me, and it is hard to tell because I have tuned her out.

i don't know what happened but i hope that's just rhetorical


so you can't use headphones, or a white noise machine, or something like that to send her back to sonic limbo?

I cannot. I need to be ready top greet visitors (other deans, donors, employment candidates etc.) so no headphones.

Here is this morning. This is just from 8 AM to 9 AM

This is the first time in a long time I have not had that stupid message
I don't know why I'm getting these...
work work, work....
That just came through the vent...did you hear that?
Now, there's many things I am supposed to be doing
sure..oh...you said you didn;t need a copy of that.
Ooops....ooops...Oh..This needs to go in...
Here, OK
It had to be the heater, because it smelled like...like the heater
This is the.....important stuff here...
Arrrghhhhh...
Oh....through the 20th...
She put the wrong dates on here
(mumble mumble) dog gourmet...

she's lonely

that is what my wife says, and why I just suck it up and deal with it, but every once in a while, especially when I am super busy, it just KILLS ME

okay, how about a music bed though? (like in badly shot documentaries where there's music while they talk to hide the poor audio recordings). it would have to be superserious and fitting the office, like all classical music all day, no commercials. it would help tune her out but if you get fed up from mozart it could be a problem.

it seems the old lady's brain can't handle the solitary confinement. in prison it's considered torture. but anyway, maybe spend 20 minutes a day pretending to shoot the shit with her and see if that diminishes her... what's the word. it's a behavior of caged animals. i forget.

buy yeah maybe if you give her some attention periodically it will silence her during the quiet time. then again she might be an endless pit so there's a risk to that gamble. or maybe you and the other 5 available coworkers can take turns in the brain-massaging duties.

A news crew is in front of my work today...yesterday afternoon the shuttle can used for taking dogs to and from their homes was stolen as they were loading it for drop off. There were 6 dogs inside. Poor dogs...if they were dithed then that means they probbaly wouldn't make it very long. It's like -8 and -27 with the wid chill and they were all small dogs sans one...whih was very old.

fucking thieves are the worst

Possibly......and it's possible she doesn't realize she is doing it / how it sounds to others.

I work with individuals who irk the hell out of me, but I'm fortunate to have the option to limit my time with them and this is a blessing.

The van with the dogs has been found.

hope the pups are OK

good news, about the van. I was still wondering what a shuttle can is ....

about annoying people at work. At my office there's this woman with the most annoying laugh you'll ever hear. Like a witch but worse than that. And she laughs a lot. She's sitting quite far away from me actually, and with a wall in between but door is always open. Fortunately I am able to wear headphones, but I don't like to do that all day.

Other story:
I'm at a hotel in Paris this week. As always bathroom is tiny tiny tiny. toilet, sink & shower in 2 square meters. So the first morning I dropped the raisor blade of my beard trimmer into the toilet.... I managed to dig it out of it, and it's still working fine. But I don't feel very clean. Think I'll just buy a new one when I get back home