Nowt, of course. Just joking, mate :) So how come you feel pissed off at the moment?

I'm babysitting my little sister.

SUCKS

Mental check notes: Essay on The Stranger, finish literature summary cards, done with calculus, and government study guide questions.

where did you find the picture in your signature? the only place i've ever seen it is in creem.


PS FUCK VODKA

This girl I was seeing a couple of months ago claims she's pregnant, but I don't buy it cause I use a condom every time

That sucks. Doubtless she has got pregnant (by someone else....) and is using you as the fall guy. Be calm but firm with her, and if she continues with these accusations, demand a paternity test. (Yeah, it's pretty scary shit for you, I imagine, but at least then she'll have zero comeback when the results come back as negative).

No shit
Sneaky fucking french

I don't even think someone else got her pregnant
She's just crazy
She needs to seek psychiatric help
Plus, she does so much blow, I doubt shes healthy enough to even have a kid

bitch is crazy
but if it ends up being true you know what you gotta do...


PUSH THAT BITCH DOWN SOME STAIRS!

i made a joke like that at work one time and this dumb racist bitch i work with started crying cause her drunk boyfriend pushed her down stairs when she was preggo and she had a miscarriage :(

Needless To Say, I Felt Pretty Insensitive

holy shit. i mean how often does that actually happen?

"Bitch, you pregnant?!"
"...Yeah..."
*OVARY PUNCH*
"NAH, NOW YOU AIN'T!"

i know! i have had abortion(s) before and i'm pretty sensitive about it but i still make jokez. she is pretty dumb, though. and says "nigger" and "that's gay" in front of our two lesbian co-workers just to piss them off. so i ddn't feel TOO bad.

That happened to one of my friends. She tells it like a funny joke now.

Fuck that bitch


Well,
I'm going to do a bit of reading out by the pool and take a shower
Talk to you guys later

oh wow, that's... really fucked up.

A (very) ex-gf got knocked up (by someone else :rolleyes:) and I took her to get the abortion sorted out. I have TOTAL respect for anyone who has one - it's ALWAYS the women's right to choose. Quit this moralstic bullshit about the unborn child already.

EDIT - take it easy, DJ crypto.

Yeah, she has a really bad habit of just telling her entire life story (which is totally fucked up) to people she barely knows. I think she lacks an inner monologue and just says everything she thinks. Her meds don't really help either

exactly. At the time i was broke, homeless, and depressed as fuck. no way i could have given that child a good life.

my boyfriend at the time broke up with me when he found out i was preggo and he was the one who kicked me out of my house, so there you go. i was living on my best friend's couch, my dog got Parvo and i spent all my money on vet bills, was recently broken up with (after a year and a half of dating/living together) because my boyfriend got me drunk and slept with me without protection even though i told him i had stopped taking the pill about a week beforehand and became pregnant. somehow i was the crazy one and he kicked me out on the streets with my sick dog and nowhere to go. so an abortion was pretty necessary, i say.

Men can be such pigs at times - that's a horrible way to be treated. Well, you've come out of it seemingly v well indeed, so more power to ya, sister :)

i would have beat the shit out of him
shit, even if it wasn't me and that happened to my best friend or something i STILL would have beat the shit out of him

Fuck vodka.
I'm pro-life. However, if these people don't come here soon I'm going to buy an unlicensed AK-47 and go to town. I don't know if there's a proper political term for that. Maybe pro-get-me-food-now-or-shit's-going-down.
And another thing: you have got to seriously re-evaluate yr life if you refer to driving as "wasting gas"

i'm making pork chops and they smell gooooooooooood

Peaches and plums

My ex got pregnant by me when I was 18. She had an abortion and neither of us regret a momentthat decision at all. To think, I would've had a kid that'd be older than Cantankerous by now. WELL scary!

oh man that totally reminds me of german muzzy

eine pflaume...eine pflaume.... EINE PFLAUUUUUUMEEEEEEE!!!!!

um same age

wait you're like 37 right?

yeah that kid would be my age.

*imagines demon as a dad*
Heh heh heh!
*imagines ME as a dad*
*weeps -poor kid....*

My scanner is being so fucked.

I never have much luck with printer/scanner type thing.

I actually think I'd be a brilliant dad - so long as i disregard things like a sense of responsibility, maturity and other generally necessary dad-like qualities. If being a good dad involved allowing a child to stay up late to watch horror films and playing video games with them, I'd be a fucking dad of the year.

Printers are designed to fuck up, I think. I've had more trouble with them than any other electronic device.

My guitar is picking up a radio station. Bollocks.

^^^Spinal Tap!!!

Do you have a shitty guitar?

To be the motion actor,
Two broken strings, attracted,
To groom my face in life and doom

Hesitate to throw a coin in,
A wish could be a bad thing,
My mouth is just a mush of drool

Standing on the bridge I
Wink at you from up high
A talking fish comes as she moves

I want to be like water
And never need a doctor
And carve the earth without my tools

do it all

All the things that I relate to well,
Like authors and painters
Transparent paper wings
That float above me while i sleep
To make the room more natural
So we could die in it and die in it and die

The color after sunset
You’d do anything to jinx it,
It’ll crush your sculpture just like a willow,
He doesn’t need a house
His shoes will walk for miles
There’s a gypsies face make on my pill.

I want to be like water and slip into your throat
And make you feel alive and good

I want to be like water and never have a doubt and
reflect what is around my pool

Do it all

All the things that I relate to them
Like authors and painters,
Transparent paper wings
That float above me while i sleep
To make the room more natural
So we could die in it and die in it and die.

And all the dreams that I awake to read like ghostly paintings
And all the things I hate, I wish I didn’t have to hate
To find a room thats natural
To live and die in it, live and die, live and die.

I don’t think you know just what you’re doing
You pretend to know exactly all the things you keep on moving
Said I don’t think I know exactly what I’m doing
But I tend to know exactly all the things you keep on moving

When you wake up from your snoozin’
I’ll tell you how to do it my way
I’ll tell you what I’m doin’
There’s a knife up in the drawer

Anybody try to stop it
And I’ll find out where you’re stompin’
And it’s all about the days you spend
Well, I’ll be at our home To be the motion actor,
Two broken strings, attracted,
To groom my face in life and doom

Hesitate to throw a coin in,
A wish could be a bad thing,
My mouth is just a mush of drool

Standing on the bridge I
Wink at you from up high
A talking fish comes as she moves

I want to be like water
And never need a doctor
And carve the earth without my tools

do it all

All the things that I relate to well,
Like authors and painters
Transparent paper wings
That float above me while i sleep
To make the room more natural
So we could die in it and die in it and die

The color after sunset
You’d do anything to jinx it,
It’ll crush your sculpture just like a willow,
He doesn’t need a house
His shoes will walk for miles
There’s a gypsies face make on my pill.

I want to be like water and slip into your throat
And make you feel alive and good

I want to be like water and never have a doubt and
reflect what is around my pool

Do it all

All the things that I relate to them
Like authors and painters,
Transparent paper wings
That float above me while i sleep
To make the room more natural
So we could die in it and die in it and die.

And all the dreams that I awake to read like ghostly paintings
And all the things I hate, I wish I didn’t have to hate
To find a room thats natural
To live and die in it, live and die, live and die.

I don’t think you know just what you’re doing
You pretend to know exactly all the things you keep on moving
Said I don’t think I know exactly what I’m doing
But I tend to know exactly all the things you keep on moving

When you wake up from your snoozin’
I’ll tell you how to do it my way
I’ll tell you what I’m doin’
There’s a knife up in the drawer

Anybody try to stop it
And I’ll find out where you’re stompin’
And it’s all about the days you spend
Well, I’ll be at our home To be the motion actor,
Two broken strings, attracted,
To groom my face in life and doom

Hesitate to throw a coin in,
A wish could be a bad thing,
My mouth is just a mush of drool

Standing on the bridge I
Wink at you from up high
A talking fish comes as she moves

I want to be like water
And never need a doctor
And carve the earth without my tools

do it all

All the things that I relate to well,
Like authors and painters
Transparent paper wings
That float above me while i sleep
To make the room more natural
So we could die in it and die in it and die

The color after sunset
You’d do anything to jinx it,
It’ll crush your sculpture just like a willow,
He doesn’t need a house
His shoes will walk for miles
There’s a gypsies face make on my pill.

I want to be like water and slip into your throat
And make you feel alive and good

I want to be like water and never have a doubt and
reflect what is around my pool

Do it all

All the things that I relate to them
Like authors and painters,
Transparent paper wings
That float above me while i sleep
To make the room more natural
So we could die in it and die in it and die.

And all the dreams that I awake to read like ghostly paintings
And all the things I hate, I wish I didn’t have to hate
To find a room thats natural
To live and die in it, live and die, live and die.

I don’t think you know just what you’re doing
You pretend to know exactly all the things you keep on moving
Said I don’t think I know exactly what I’m doing
But I tend to know exactly all the things you keep on moving

When you wake up from your snoozin’
I’ll tell you how to do it my way
I’ll tell you what I’m doin’
There’s a knife up in the drawer

Anybody try to stop it
And I’ll find out where you’re stompin’
And it’s all about the days you spend
Well, I’ll be at our home

you'd be the greatest dad ever

Every printer I've had has fucked up in some way or another.

It seems to work for me.